Keeping the conversation going with women is half the battle.
A lot of guys need a more basic blueprint on how to talk to women properly so that things don’t get too awkward, tense, or otherwise negative simply because the conversation lacks structural integrity.
The first four tips of this article centre around one theme: don’t bore her.
Stirring up a boring conversation is a very common mistake for men talking to attractive women. It’s probably the biggest reason guys don’t approach a girl they like — more than anything else, they fear boring them!
The reason there is a boring epidemic forever going around in the dating world is because most men think women want to hear things that they really couldn’t give a shit about.
Some subjects are just for the boys, or even just for yourself.
Even if you have a good radar for what women might want to talk about, if you just keep yapping about those subjects without checking on a few things first, you’re likely to bore her to tears.
That’s why you should always…
1. Find Out What She’s Into First
Imagine if girls started gaming you assuming that you’re really into the most stereotypical masculine thing — sports, guns, engines, violence, video games, weights, golf, etc.
Now imagine they going on and on about these things and nothing else.
You’d probably like it to a point. But after that, you’d be bored senseless!
That’s why, before launching into anything long-winded, be it a story, anecdote, personal essay, or monologue, take the time to gauge her interest first.
A preemptive question or two first can save you both a big buzzkill.
For example, instead of yapping on and on about what Justin Bieber is up to, you can first gauge her interest level about celebrities in general by asking her “Are you a huge follower in celebrity news?”
Based on her reply, you can either double down on this topic or move on to the next one.
2. Don’t Linger
This means don’t continue a topic after its value has peaked.
Simply put, when a girl doesn’t seem to ‘get’ or understand what you’re talking about, or relate to it closely, then drop it like it’s hot.
Good topics are typically personal (about you or her in some way), meaningful (thought-provoking, not superficial), and they often take twists and turns rather than just being one bland point after another that doesn’t really alter the narrative at all.
If you and a girl get stuck on a stale conversation, then it’s easy for her to assume that you two ain’t really clicking.
“Nice meeting you~!”
3. Don’t Brag
Directly pumping your value will trigger most women’s ‘bullshit radar’.
Even if she does believe you, she might find you cringey anyway. Still, you need to communicate your value to her in a way that won’t seem tryhard and lame.
You need to be indirect about it. Women tend to be dismissive of anything they perceive as bragging, because it’s implied that only dumb and insecure girls fall for bragging. Even if you think you’re being sneaky about it, she’s probably got you pegged a mile away.
Bragging is bad because:
1. If she already is impressed by you, bragging can make you seem unattainable.
2. If she isn’t impressed by you, bragging tends to make you seem even more lame in her eyes.
Instead of bragging, just let the fundamentals do the bragging for you. Trying to hype up yourself verbally is not nearly as good as actually doing the legwork necessary to genuinely be impressive beforehand.
Fundamentals can mean things like your overall presentation such as your walk, voice, body language and vibe.
If you work on these instead of bragging, they’ll do more good for you than bragging ever could.
4. Get Her Talking
Probably the best way to find out what a woman likes is to get her to do the lion’s share of the talking.
If she’s directing the conversation, then she will almost certainly direct it towards her favourite things in life, including herself.
In this exercise, your role is to fuel the conversation and ask her the right kinds of questions to turn it into a blazing fire of a chat.
Remember, a huge part about talking with women involves letting them talk to you. If she’s talking a lot, then chances are she finds the conversation at least average or better.
But how do we get them talking?
Check out the four points below to find out…
5. Make Your Intentions Clear
Even though women are emotional, don’t forget that they’re very practical too.
A woman is unlikely to talk to a guy unless she has some idea why. Most women won’t hesitate to excuse themselves if they can’t understand why a conversation might be happening in the first place.
More so than men, women need a purpose behind their actions. That’s why men have stronger reputations for being ‘fools’—we have more tolerance for doing nonsensical things just for fun.
This effect is so strong that men all over the world are constantly getting thwarted by women leaving them to go find their friends, or do something work-related. Women don’t like to waste their time dawdling, at least not as much as men.
That’s why, while indirect game could be useful at times, you shouldn’t be too indirect. If you’re not clear enough about what you want, women’s practicality will quickly end the interaction.
Many guys, especially noobs, have indirect, pointless conversations with girls and call it ‘game’ with those quick sets.
And guess what? Quick sets usually translate into flakey sets.
6. Ask Interesting Questions
This isn’t always doable, but work on it anyway because when you can do this, you can get much further with a girl.
There are essentially two ways to make your questions interesting.
The first way is to make the subject interesting. An easy way to do this is to probe into the origin story of something she likes to do. Origin stories about personal hobbies are always interesting to talk about. It’s also a way to bring you into her world.
Another way to do this is to ask her about her dream job — this will reveal her inner qualities quite a bit and it’s a positive subject that she’ll enjoy talking about.
7. Ask Curiosity-Inducing Questions
Curiosity goes together with a sense of intrigue.
A curiosity-inducing subject makes her wonder what you’re getting at. Once you’ve got her primed, you must deliver.
Curious questions often lead to interesting subjects, whether they were scripted that way or not. As long as you turn the answer into something personally interesting, you’re on the right track.
Strange questions put her into the mindset of disinhibition. By handing her a fantasy in the form of a question, you allow her to feel more free around you, which is exactly what good game is supposed to deliver.
8. Ask a Question Using Interesting Wording
Using exotic wording makes even mundane questions seem a little more exciting.
For example, you might ask her if she is a ‘glamorous’ gal or if she likes to go on ‘voyages’, referring to travel.
This little trick livens up any conversation and makes you look smart and impressive at the same time.
Obviously balance is key in game and in life. So it’s important not to overdo it or you’d start sounding like a snob, which will probably cringe the girl out.
Instead, aim for just a hint of this playful exoticness of speech while avoiding parody.
Follow these 8 steps to become a smooth talker with ladies.
Conversation is more than 69% of the battle, and the rest is Gameasy.