The truth is that sales and seduction are very similar.
When gaming, you are both the sales rep and the product itself. You are a self-selling product.
A fundamental cornerstone of sales 101 is to generate an intense feeling of ‘need’ within your customers.
You’re like a linebacker clearing the way for the consumer so that they don’t run up against their own internal resistance.
Every seduction is different, but the end goal is to leave her wanting more from you, be it your attention, affection, energy, vibe, etc.
But guess what? There’s almost always going to be objections.
She may perceive you as a bad fit for romance, sex or other practical issues.
The good news is that objections usually aren’t iron-clad. You can overcome them by dismantling them. If she gets ‘stuck’ on an objection, find a way to clear the path.
Story from a Bootcamp Client
Let’s start with a quick example. A recent client of mine had a thing for hipster girls.
He met one during our Day Game Bootcamp in downtown Toronto.
He got into a long conversation (around 10 minutes) where he teased her about her numerous earrings and tattoos, then figured out her logistics, built some rapport and got her to qualify herself.
This hipster girl got more invested as the interaction went on.
She showed more intimate compliance, like turning and showing off her earrings when he asked, explaining them as he probed, and let him get closer and closer.
She did not, however, show overt, obvious Indicators of Interest.
Her logistics were good though, so he really should have pushed for an instant date.
But he suddenly dropped a False Time Constraint and said he had to leave. Before he left, he confidently told her that he’d love to grab a coffee soon.
At this point, she apologized and said she was taking a break from dating to “find herself”.
He tried to bait her by being super flattering and ended up qualifying himself way too much, but all it made her do was apologize even harder.
The set went straight downhill from there.
After this, my client was a bit sad. He really liked her, yet he felt totally rejected. He asked me for an infield breakdown.
So I sat him down and told him something like this.
1. Two Minutes Minimum
For a Day Game set to really count for something, it really needs to last two minutes at a bare minimum.
Unless you want to be a Flakey Number Collector.
Now most guys can’t even last two minutes because their verbal game isn’t tight.
Of course, these guys can talk for hours with someone they have chemistry with, but Day Game is all about cold approach, where no chemistry has existed beforehand.
Meaning, you’re creating something out of nothing.
Most guys can’t keep a cold approach going for two minutes, or even one minute.
But if you can make it last 5 to 10 minutes, then that’s a solid hook. It will give you plenty of chances to dismantle her natural objections to you.
If logistics allow, make sure to aim for an instant date. This is escalation. Always be looking for the next step on the staircase to the bedroom.
And you know what? If she is willing to let you take 10 minutes of her day, then it’s natural to assume that she’d be willing to let you take a whole hour.
Otherwise it’d be pretty boring and awkward to stand at that one spot where you met her for half an hour straight.
2. Lover Frame
Now if a girl blows off your advances by telling you that she’s taking a break from dating, it means she’s not interested.
This is because nobody actually takes a break, they’re just waiting for someone they find attractive to show up. It’s a waiting game, and if she says this to you, it means you lost.
Still, all women stop waiting at some point and start actively seeking. You want to put yourself up as a good option for this. That’s why, like a salesman, you need to Always Be Closing — ABC.
Get her contact info before you part ways.
That being said, don’t sell yourself as a potential boyfriend. This is asking too much investment from her.
You should sell yourself as an exciting lover, not a boring provider.
Always be closing, but close casually. Even if your words communicate that you are infatuated with her, still keep up the understanding that you are the chooser, you are screening her, and not vice-versa.
3. Indicators of Interest
Most guys are over-estimating the importance of Indicators of Interest or IOI.
Many women aren’t even sure if they really like you and won’t show obvious interest right away, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t interested.
Just because they’re not super interested (or don’t appear to be), that’s no reason to worry. Sometimes, women won’t even like you definitively until you start kissing her.
Now instant dates are great for a lot of reasons, but one simple reason is that it makes your interaction last longer. Often the difference between a yes and a maybe, or a yes and a no, is nothing but the time spent together.
Time is a valuable thing. It gives you more chances to showcase your personality, and to build up enough attraction and comfort. Sometimes you can’t force any chemistry, but with enough time it will happen naturally and organically.
Yet no matter what, some guys can never stop looking too hard and depending on clear IOI’s from the girl before they got the balls to make a move. Now that’s a must for you, then the following signs are key indicators of interest:
Toying with her hair, lip-licking, maintaining eye contact, laughing at whatever you say, asking you personal questions, touching you, blushing, fidgeting or simply following you around.
4. Strong Fundamentals
I then reminded my client the importance of having strong fundamentals.
Body Language: Superman Pose with a strong and steady eye contact.
Tonality: Speak from the diaphragm for a strong, loud and deep voice. Meaning, speak on the exhale. Practice daily meditation in the morning. Avoid Uptalk aka rapport seeking tonality. Speak in Downtalk at least 80% of the time, like a Boss.
Fitness: If you are obese or extremely skinny, go hit the gym. Girls love tickets to the Gun Show.
Fashion and Grooming: When was the last time someone complimented on your style? Can’t remember? Well, then chances are you got none. So go get a haircut and shop for new clothes at least once a month. Ask the people working in the stores for advice. Take risks and be adventurous with your style, because that’s how you’ll learn and grow (and get noticed).
Positive Vibe: This means not being nervous, twitchy, showing approach anxiety, or being worried about other people hearing you. Be calm, gregarious, a bit arrogant, and assertive. Women will find it hot. Think positively, and throw away negativity, cynicism, and fear-based thinking.
Charm: You add all these up together and voila, you’d officially become a charming man.
After this infield breakdown, my client got back right in the field, and ended up meeting another beautiful hipster girl, one that he really liked.
And this time he closed.
Well but that’s another story. Until next time, Gameasy!