When it comes to persisting with women, there are basically three approaches: active, passive, or a mix of both.
Now the thing is, what actually causes resistance?
There’s basically 3 main reasons:
1. Lack of attraction
2. Lack of comfort
3. Her ASD (Anti-Slut Defense) is triggered
Often you can improve your chances by quickly identifying and solving the issue at hand. For instance, if she’s not comfortable, try showing more rapport, more value, etc.
There is so much more that can be said about this, but it will have to wait for another article. This article is more about demonstrating different kinds of persistence.
So without any further ado, let’s get started.
The meaning of active persistence is to persist almost no matter what. You just keep trying to escalate things unless you hear a clear “no”.
The problem with active persistence is that you might end up inadvertently going too far and doing something that might qualify you as a sexual harasser.
Sex or hookups that requires a high level of persistence can make the girl resent you and potentially even create legal problems down the road.
That being said, don’t dismiss active persistence entirely. It could work, and it doesn’t have to get you in trouble either if you calibrate it well.
One pro is that it might actually work. Your persistence could potentially get her to say yes, for whatever reason.
And if she says no, she probably will say no. Active persistence is the most likely approach to lead to irritation and anger from women, or at least a desire to get away from you.
Even worse, active persistence is often viewed as needy. The frame is not good, and women are rarely attracted to needy dudes.
That being said, there is a huge plus to this approach, such that you remove any guilt she might have towards hooking up with you.
We all know that women usually fear being seen as sluts.
Active persistence tends to go a long way in minimizing a woman’s feeling of sluttiness because it gives her the chance to rebuff you many times like a “good” girl is supposed to do.
Therefore any guilt from promiscuity is on you, not her.
This might make hooking up with you an easy decision. Taking the blame for the hookup away can really be a big motivator for women.
The only times when you should use active persistence are when you have a sense that she wants you to persist because deep down she enjoys the attention and she is curious to see how far you’re willing to go for her.
The problem is that it can be hard to know if she really is in this disposition or if you’re just falling for wishful thinking. You may be convinced that she wants you to actively persist with her when really she’s this close to calling the cops on you!
So in general, tread lightly with this approach.
This form of persistence involves boosting her compliance while trying to make her come to you and make the move to escalate things.
Now say you are escalating things with a cold approached woman, and she rebuffs you. Rather than pressing on and risking angering her, you can instead break the rapport to hopefully increase her compliance, allowing you to escalate successfully later.
Whenever your active persistence fails, you can break rapport in order to show that you’re not a problem, and have her win you back.
Some examples of breaking rapport include:
1. Walking away
2. Freezing out
3. Gaming other girls
One way or another, breaking rapport will have her suddenly find herself on the outside of you, and hopefully wanting back in. If this is the case, you’ll find her resistance plummeting.
This may not seem all that persistent, but it is when you understand it as reverse psychology.
Instead of escalating your persistence, you strategically de-escalate it in a way that makes her want to chase you.
Now probably the best part of the passive persistence approach is that it won’t bring any police heat in your direction.
However, passive approach isn’t ideal because you’d probably freeze out a lot of otherwise hot leads. In other words, your reverse psychology tricks won’t work on certain girls.
One final downside to the passive approach is that it doesn’t resolve the “slut” issue, in fact, it amplifies it. Most girls’ slut radar will be triggered hard if they or one of their friends is out there making obvious moves towards a guy who is icing her out at least a little bit.
Passive approach should be used whenever a girl gives you any hard resistance or a hard no.
I recommend this tactic when you’re not sure if a girl likes you or not. That way you can weed out the girls who aren’t interested while reeling in the ones that are.
You can also try this tactic if you’ve tried a lot of other things without success. If it doesn’t work, you can always re-engage later, fresh, almost like the first attempt never happened.
As the name suggests, this is a mix of both of the persistence strategies mentioned above.
This is a dynamic approach which uses a passive move when she resists, but then quickly switching to an active move once you sense that the passive approach has taken effect.
This approach is often the best because life isn’t often black and white.
How much you should break rapport depends on the level of resistance. If it’s light, simply go a bit cold. If it’s heavy, walk away from her and try to engage with other women before re-engaging.
It also depends on how many times you’ve used a move on this girl. It’s probably not smart to keep repeating the same moves on the same girl and expecting different results, so each attempt should be different.
You should also limit your attempts to 3 on one girl. If at this point she still isn’t showing signs of receptiveness, then it’s best to move on from her entirely.
This is the most powerful strategy among others which has less risk of creating drama or losing girls you’re interested in, and it also helps girls avoid feeling slut-shamed.
Basically this strategy takes the benefits of both approaches without the downsides.
The only real con is those relatively rare cases when you’re better served by relying on one approach over the other.
We’ve talked about 3 kinds of persistence — active, passive, and mixed.
A fully active strategy is likely to annoy the girl too much to lead anywhere good, but in rare cases it’s what’s needed.
Passive strategy is more effective but still not great because you lose a lot of girls you like, and who may have liked you back but were deterred by your passivity.
Moreover, it can make girls crazy jealous. It’s best used early on when you have little to lose, or if you can potentially make her jealous by talking to other girls.
Use the mixed strategy of both passivity and activity unless resistance is severe (then be passive) or there’s a strong sense that the active approach is desired. It’s the go-to method, for most approaches.
And remember, Gameasy.